From the book by Andrey Sokolov and Tatiana Sokolova "The world and humans for students and their parents".
We will talk about two basic tactics of human behavior. On the tactics of "victim" and the tactics of "responsibility".
Let's start with the "victim". Moreover, this tactic is much more common.
The main difference between the "victim" is that there is always someone or something that is hindering her. And it is always not herself, not her laziness, not her lack of knowledge, not her miscalculation.
"Victim", for example, says:
- This teacher is too strict.
- We were not explained this topic.
- Mom asked to help her, so I didn't do my homework.
The “victim” never admits, even to herself, that the matter is not in the teacher, but in the fact that she was distracted in the lesson, that she was too lazy to do her homework, that at the time when she had to read the textbook, she was watching the series, that the topic was being explained, but she ignored the explanation.
If the child does not change tactics, then he grows into an adult with the position of a “victim”, for whom everyone is always to blame: children, husband (wife), mother-in-law (father-in-law, father-in-law, mother-in-law), boss at work, employee from another department, partner (which can do nothing), etc.
The position of "victim" for this person is extremely convenient. The "victim" is always right. Others are not right. The "victim" would have done just fine if not for "them" or "it".
"Victim" really spoils the life of others, but she herself lives quite well. Not successful, no. There is no success in her life. But complaining about life, people and circumstances, manipulating people with the help of grievances and complaints, the "victim" is not arranged badly, sucking the juices from other people.
The position of responsibility is completely opposite to sacrifice. "Responsibility" is always looking for what in itself prevented it from achieving a result. "Responsibility" analyzes - whether she planned the day correctly in order to do everything. Was she attentive in the lesson and if not, and how to correct a miscalculation or mistake, where to find and fill in the gaps. Who to ask homework to do on time.
“Responsibility” decides what she needs to do to be 100% ready.
A responsible person, in case of failure, formulates the question like this: "What did I do wrong and how to fix it?"
Being “responsible” is difficult. After all, you have to be responsible for everything yourself. At least in front of you. But this is the path to success. "Responsibility" belongs not only to all the mistakes she made, but also to all her victories and successes, which will certainly be. There is no other way with "responsibility".