From the book by Andrey Sokolov and Tatiana Sokolova "The world and humans for students and their parents".
What are templates?
Human is like a spring. He is capable of being a part of the mechanism and bringing benefit to the world, being effective at work if used as intended and installed correctly.
But if you try to squeeze the same spring into a box (template, stencil, template), try to reduce it to the size someone needs, it at some point stretches and shoots out. And it hurts.
How to prevent the explosion and keep yourself in shape?
Let's talk about boxes, patterns and everything that starts the clock
mechanism of the personality, turning a person into dynamite.
Personality can be compared to the trunk of a tree. Imagine that parasites have grown on it. What the tree does not need is not part of its essence, but consumes sap and energy. Such parasites are, for example, the role of a “good girl (boy, mom, dad)” or acting according to a stereotyped model of behavior that contradicts the values of the personality itself.
There are parasites in nature that are capable of changing the consciousness of a living creature and subjugating its will (forcing, for example, committing suicide, literally "getting into the mouth" of a predator).
It is very easy to lose the ability to define one's “I” in the vinaigrette of parasitic attitudes, “as it should” and “as it should be”.
Crushed by a bunch of formulaic phrases and attitudes imposed from childhood, remarks, demands and threats, a person crawls through life on all fours, unable to straighten up to his full height. He wants to free himself, to swim freely on the ocean of life, and at the same time it seems that if he bent down lower, then maybe they won't notice him and he will be saved. But this is self-deception and the person continues to crawl through life from one day to another.
And the burden of traditions, patterns, boundaries and attitudes grows, it becomes more and more difficult to move. And the only way out is to shake off all the garbage, stop being afraid, straighten up and go your own way, and not along the rails laid by someone. But this is possible only if you learn to remove the "parasitic" growths that are not part of the personality.
And this is painful and difficult. But probably. For this you need:
1. Recognize the presence of "parasites" and want to be cured.
2. Observe your behavior, from time to time asking yourself honest questions: "Who is speaking in me now?" "Is this what I want or is it contrived, brought in from the outside (by parents, teachers, friends, society)?"
3. Be flexible and willing to change.